Dracula, one episode in, a series review

Hi my hot cute girly geeks and boy geeks. I’m gonna talk to you guys about the new series Dracula. Or rather rant and scream and bitch about the first episode. Normally I try to wait at least 2 episodes before basing an opinion. But in this case, sorry, I can’t.


Synopsis according to IMDB:

Series introduces Dracula as he arrives in London, posing as an American entrepreneur who maintains that he wants to bring modern science to Victorian society. In reality, he hopes to wreak revenge on the people who ruined his life centuries earlier. There’s only one circumstance that can potentially thwart his plan: Dracula falls hopelessly in love with a woman who seems to be a reincarnation of his dead wife.

My thoughts.

I was really looking forward to the series adaptation of one of the biggest and most influential books in the vampire history. And boy was I disappointed. No scratch that, I was hurt. My vampire loving heart is bleeding of sadness.

Dracula is an American now. Renfield is sane, African American and looks like he took one too many steroid injections. The costumes are out of place and certainly not Victorian London. The conversations boring. And apparently Dracula invented Wi-Fi!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! The first episode is messy, too many character introductions, a lot of boobs. (Ok I don’t mind boobs, but I do if they are literally pushed in your face every other second.)

We get glimpses of flashbacks that don’t add a single bit of information about the story. Seriously, Bram Stoker turned in his grave when it aired. The whole 45 minutes felt like hours and me sitting on the couch cringing at what was being displayed on my TV.

I can honestly say I rather watch all twilight movies back to back than watch this first episode again. And those are bad!

The only good thing, and I do mean only! Is that Dracula has proper fangs. That’s it. I can’t say anything positive about this adaptation.

Watching this felt like someone was staking me in the heart and slowly twisting and splintering the stake inside my body. And be assured I watched some dodgy vampire movies over the years.

I mean, Dracula, a cult classic, no matter what adaptation, stays true to the story. This abomination doesn’t. No, just nope. I just can’t deal with this level of … I’m gonna stop writing now.

Seriously, avoid this as the plague!

Love, your own hot cute girly geek, Mendy

PS: I really tried to be positive. But this feels like watching Elementary. And if you know me, you know how I feel about Elementary vs Sherlock. Just nope.

PPS: sorry for all the people who do love this new Dracula adaptation, I’m willing to try two more episodes but if it doesn’t get any better…