Stereotyping of a girly geek

Hi my hot cute girly and boy geeks, after reading an interesting article in a book I received a couple of weeks ago I had an idea about this blog.

The stereotyping of a girly geek.

Nerds and geeks always have been titles for teenage and adult males with a love for science fiction, gaming and computers. Often they implicate that the male in question is socially inadequate, wears glasses, is really smart and can’t say a coherent sentence to a female. They are picked on, bullied and have very few friends, mainly other nerds and geeks.

Every now and then you came across a female nerd or geek. With the same description as said male geek, but the difference being, the female geek must be pining over some strong male lead character in a movie or TV series and isn’t able to make clear decisions (example Amy in the Big Bang Theory)

But slowly there has been an up rise in female geeks, mainly because there is so much more to fall in love with. Because if you are a female geek, you must have that love for a strong male character and lust after his body.

And although a really large group of female geeks I encounter online and in real life does fit this description. Because it’s now cool to love science fiction and fantasy, and you can lust after the Winchester Brothers, or Loki, or Sherlock, or Edward, or Derek, or Legolas, just because they look hot. It is almost expected of you that you dive into tumble and Live Journal and start shipping your favorite characters together, preferably with the hot steamy sex scenes. You are expected to choose a side in your favorite pairing and defend it with your life, starting the so called ship wars between other fandoms, or even in the same fandom. If there is a female character bonded with your favorite male character, you want to be that female character to come close to HIM! Oh and it has to be the lead character you fall in love with, everyone else is not acceptable.

When, as a geeky girl, you start collecting merchandise from your favorite TV/movie/book/comic. There must be something wrong with you. You must be lusting after someone and the people around you comment on it that you use this obsession as an escape from reality.

Obviously I don’t agree with the statements I wrote down. When I little I wasn’t that much of a geek. Yeah I loved books and reading and yes I wished some hot vampire would take me away from reality, but that was more because I had a crappy childhood then the fact I was fangirling over someone. In my early teenage years I became interested with the sci-fi show the X-files. I didn’t pine over Mulder or wished I was Scully but I was interested in the lone gunmen. Three socially inadequate nerds with great intelligence. I even remember wearing a t-shirt with them on it.

I attempted playing AD&D but that was not for me, too much focusing on male roles. But I fell more and more in love with vampires over the years. And I don’t mean the sparkly ones. I loved my vampires to be dark and cruel and balancing on that edge between humanity and monster. Take interview with a vampire. Louis is great, but always whining about everything, please give me Lestat or Armand instead. Same goes for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yes Angel is a hotty, but I liked him better when he turned into Angelus and Spike was my absolute favorite.

My next real fandom became Supernatural. I didn’t love the show because of the obvious hot male characters, I loved the show because of its dark edge and the monsters and the demons. My favorite character? Crowley (I’m detecting a pattern here for British accents.)

A friend of mine introduced me to tumbler, and even though it’s fun to pass the time with, I hate the whole fanwars going on and I don’t participate in it. Why do I need to pick a side and stick with it? Why do I need to fall in love with the male character for just his looks?

My next fandom is Doctor Who. I’m a bit obsessed by it. But I love the series for its stories; I love the Doctor for who he is and what he stands for. I don’t love the Doctor for his looks (well, although David Tennant…) While most female fan girls dream about being the next companion, I dream about being the new Tosh at Torchwood 3. I even attempted two fan fictions. One was a gift for a friend of mine, who indeed wanted to be the new companion and the second one I wrote as a follow-up but more for myself, as me being the new Tosh. Hey, it’s make believe; I can be anyone I want. But I’m not comfortable with the whole slash thing. I love to read it (but then again I read the Anita Blake books by Laurell K. Hamilton) Writing itself is a whole different story. For me the Doctor still is asexual (even as he is married to River Song at the moment).

And why is it ok if you like a band, for example, to buy all the cd’s, go to concerts and decorate your wall with posters. But it is frowned upon, as a girl, to have a Tardis teapot on your bookshelf and a sonic screwdriver in your bag. Why can people get a tattoo of Michael Jackson on their back, but if you get the anti-possessing symbol, you must be crazy. Even more so if you have ovaries.

And because I’m a geeky girl, does that automatically imply I need to dress in fandom t-shirts all day? Why can’t I look like a “proper lady” and love geeky things at the same time. I do express my love for my fandoms, but more subtle. (I have a Tardis as a necklace, I have a small skull in my ear for my love of pirates of the Caribbean, and I have an anti-possessing symbol tattooed on my foot) It’s those little things that I love and make it special for me.

Another example. I love Sherlock. The series is new, innovating and in my opinion absolutely brilliant. I absolutely adore Sherlock himself, but not in a lusty kind of way. Yes he has adorable curly hair, most beautiful eyes and again, that accent. But I’d rather have dinner with him and have a proper chat and listen to him rambling and express his intelligence than shag the guy. I fell in love with his brain and that is something rare in geeky girl land. Nowadays everything is about sex and lust. As a geeky girl you must lust after a guy and cannot just be interested in him for how he is as a character. For the choices he makes or the decisions he takes.

Even in TV land this is strange, take Doctor Who for example. Rose was in love for the Doctor, Martha pined after him. Even Amy did. While Donna was the odd on out. She saw absolutely not interested in that scrawny space man, she was his equal, kept him grounded, questioned his actions and had fun. And that is frowned upon

I don’t know, maybe I am the odd geeky girl, maybe I am a bit like Donna. Seeking rather friendship and a mate, instead of mating. Don’t get me wrong, I love a bit of fangirling and lusting at its time, but not all the time.

So I continue in watching my favorite shows, laugh and cry with them. Buy merchandise if I’m able, have long chats with friends about decisions the characters take and what would be behind such a decision. I continue on reading fan fiction, but not participate in fanwars. I continue in salting my doorsteps (but only if there is snow). I continue being intelligent and socially adequate (for god’s sake, I’m a social worker; you don’t get more socially adept then that). I continue wearing contacts and dressing up nice, instead of fandom shirts and old baggy jeans. And I wait for that mad man in a blue box, but only if he drops me off in Cardiff, to help Captain Jack Harkness fight crime and protect the earth against alien invasion.

Love, your hot cute girly geek, Mendy.


About hotcutegirlygeek

Hi I’m Mendy, 30, live in the Netherlands together with my lovely cat Sir James. I’m a social worker who works with drug addicts and homeless people by day and a geek, avid blogger and aspiring author by heart. I read, write, blog, bake and create. More about Hot Cute Girly Geek

3 thoughts on “Stereotyping of a girly geek

  1. […] Read more here: Stereotyping of a girly geek « Hot Cute Girly Geek […]

  2. rtgrthetasigma says:

    Great post.

    One of the things that I’ve been really pleased about since Doctor Who has come back is that it has returned to being a FAMILY show, rather than one solely for the über-fans. The main reason for this success is that Russell and Steven have used emotions that people can relate to as the driver for the storylines.

    This use of emotion has made the series more accessible to the female viewership and not only Doctor Who, but genre series such as Torchwood, Sherlock, The Waking Dead and Supernatural have benefitted from this diversity in the fan base. I mean, look at the upsurge in creativity in fan fiction, artwork, YouTubing, and so on.

    As for Donna, she was an awesome companion and just the companion that Doctor 10 needed following losing Rose and Martha’s departure.

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